First of all, let me introduce myself. I’m Jack, an unreconstructed motorcaravan enthusiast. My partner (Flora) and I have been motor-caravanning since the days of the Stanley Steamer
(a very fine steam-powered car indeed)! Welcome to this, the first of my regular monthly columns which I hope you will enjoy reading as much as I like writing them.
REMARKABLE SITE
Ever motorcaravanned in a quarry? We have. You should try it, too.
Pictured (right) is Rivendale campsite, located in the heart of the Derbyshire Dales
at Alsop-en-le-Dale,
a stone’s throw
from Ashbourne. Enthusiastic owners Greg and Tania Potter take up the story.
“Rivendale began life originally as a hill farm with a fine stone manor house and stable buildings,” they told me.
“The land was acquired by ICI and opened as a quarry, producing quicklime and silica sand. Both products were loaded into rail wagons and taken away by the railway line that formerly ran along the Tissington Trail. The manor house was demolished, although the
stable buildings were retained, probably to house the ponies used to pull the mine wagons within the quarry. Fifty years ago, the quarry workings, silica sand pit and fields were abandoned to nature until its purchase by us in 1997.
“The site had many assets, including a sheltered, sunny pitching area with breathtaking views over the Peak District, 27 acres of pasture and woodland filled with wild flowers and animals, and beautiful stone-built
stable buildings.
“But along with this came some daunting problems, including
a lack of water, gas, electricity, sewerage and telephone connections, and 100,000 tonnes of quarry waste which covered the area destined to become pitches. As well as all this, copious amounts of rubbish had been dumped by so-called New Age travellers.”
Today, the park is an imaginatively landscaped
high-facility site,
eminently suitable
for motorcaravans.
For walkers there is
a selection of footpaths to try, accessible directly from the site. In addition, Tissington Trail (a stone’s throw from the site entrance) is good both for ramblers and cyclists, because the gradients are very slight, and this trail links in with the High Peak Trail.
Within an easy half-day trip from the site are many stately homes, architectural and industrial heritage sites. There is even an annual well-dressing contest.
As far as staying on site is concerned, Flora and I have sampled the fare in Rivendale’s own restaurant and found it very tasty – and reasonably priced, too.
Highly valued are the park’s three David Bellamy Gold Awards for conservation, achieved for environmental husbandry. Visitors to the park today will appreciate just what the owners have achieved. It’s nothing short of remarkable.
REMARKABLE OVERSIGHT
Recently, I was asked for my opinion on the installation of pipes and tanks beneath a new panel van conversion, undertaken by a
well-respected company.
On one side, there was no outlet pipe and drain valve on the waste water tank and, on the other side, the fresh water tank was missing. Still, they had tucked the fresh water pipe out of the way (around the exhaust pipe) and the unsecured 230v hook-up earth lead was also joining in the fun by making contact with the exhaust pipe – I was surprised there hadn’t been a fire during delivery. In the picture (below) you can see that the blue pipe is burnt. PDI? Harrumph… what PDI?? The really remarkable thing was that this vehicle had been entered in a prestigious contest, of which I was a technical judge.
The converter knew that the motorcaravan would be subject to close scrutiny, so what on earth was he thinking of? Remarkable? certainly. Unforgivable? I think so. In fact I am so fed up with coming across examples of poor, or non-existent, PDIs (pre-delivery inspections) that I have launched a nationwide investigation into everything that surrounds buying a new motorcaravan. Watch this space for news of my crusade.
GET A LIFE, BANCROFT!
I’ve picked up a speeding fine
– not a regular occurrence in our household, the last time my licence was endorsed, it was on one of the ‘proper’ red coloured licences – you remember, the ones with a crown on the front. My crime was to be travelling at 45mph on a stretch of dual carriageway road bearing a temporary speed limit
of 40mph.
Now, I know that the camera (in this case, speed camera) rarely lies but I decided to query the decision to prosecute. I pleaded: (a) that no speedometer is accurate to within ten percent; (b) that I drive looking at the road ahead rather than with my eyes permanently on the speedo; and (c) that no reasonable traffic cop would have proceeded on this matter – a ‘telling off’ and an instruction to watch my speed more carefully in the future would have been more appropriate.
After an entire morning on the telephone I eventually got through to the traffic policy unit to be told (after a lot of twaddle) that I was “revenue positive” – i.e. I was banged to rights and had to pay up!
Incidentally, the time lag between my speeding offence and receipt of a summons had been less than 36 hours – a rather smarter response, I think, than when an untaxed and uninsured vehicle took the side skirts off my previous motorhome and failed to stop (two independent witnesses came forward, on my side). On that occasion, I had to report the matter twice. Today, three years later,
the offender continues to drive his offending vehicle (still untaxed)!
I can only suppose that he was not “revenue positive”.
The management (Flora, that is) thinks that I was caught fair and square for speeding and that now I’m being unbelievably pompous over the matter and that I should “get a life!” What do you think? Write in and let me know – I need your support!
NOW WEIGHT A MINUTE
One of my ‘spies’ – actually one
of the dedicated and happy band
of Alan Rogers’ site inspectors
– thought I might be interested in
a sticker (pictured, below) she had been given while ‘on tour’ in her motorcaravan. Produced by the (Austrian) Osterreichischer Camping Club, it advertised the club’s opposition to plans concerning the introduction of charge bands for different weights of motorcaravan. At present, it appears that there will be two bands; above and below 3.5 tonnes. These would apply when buying a motorway vignette, or paying a toll to use a tunnel or a mountain pass.
Personally, I’m neutral on the subject as I see a need for some sort of graded scale of payment, and agree that a 40ft Clou Liner built on a lorry chassis will probably wear the road out quicker than a Romahome.
However, I’ve been wondering how the authorities are going to ascertain the weight of each motorcaravan. Surely, they are not going to inspect every van’s VIN and weight plates? Perhaps they are going to install weigh-bridges at each toll booth? That could lead to monumental traffic jams. Or, is it like many well-meant policy initiatives, fine in theory, but not so clever in practice?
LIKE WOT I WROTE
As we approach the festive season, it’s time to look back over the year at some adverts culled from our local newspaper, and from various club and news-stand magazines.
One week, I noticed an “Elddid Autojest” for sale in Suffolk. That same week I was tickled by another advert, placed by the owners of a Royale 550: they must have enjoyed the ownership experience because they wanted “a silver screen to fit their Swift Loyal 550”.
Proving the old typesetter’s adage that “it’s not what you say, but the order you say it in” that counts, is this beauty from a weekly ‘trader’ mag: “For sale 1999(T) Hymer 544. Maxi chassis, panoramics, reversing camera, solar panel. One owner with full service history.”
On another occasion, I did wonder whether I could sneak out, without Flora noticing, to sample the tantalisingly wicked delights of an Auto-Sleeper “Synbol”, for sale for just under £20 000 – just how much ‘syn’ can twenty grand buy?
Jack Bancroft |
